St. Ignatius and Our Lady of Monserrat

There's an interesting moment in the life of St. Ignatius Loyola, where he almost violently kills someone in defense of the perpetual virginity of Mary (St. Jerome would be proud), and then within days hangs up all of his sword and army equipment infront of an image of Our Lady of Monserrat, in what I perceive as a sort of spiritual surrender to God. It reminds me of the Newman quote where he writes that we are not merely civilians in need of a captain (Christ) but rebels who must lay down our arms.

I found an English translation of the hymn to Our Lady of Monserrat that is sung daily in the monastery:

"Rose of April, woman of the mountain,
star of Montserrat,
light up the catalan land
guide us to the sky
guide us to the sky

With a golden saw, the little angels sawed,
with a golden saw, those peaks,
to make your palace,
to make your palace.
Queen of the Sky, that the Séraphins took down
Queen of the Sky Give us a shelter in your blue coat,
in your blue coat.

Rose of April, woman of the mountain,
star of Montserrat,
light up the catalan land
guide us to the sky
guide us to the sky"

At the monastery, Ignatius confessed his sins before going off into a period of even greater conversion. I burst out laughing when I read in Catholic Encyclopedia the snide remark of the historian: "evidence tends to show that his own subsequent humble confessions of having been a great sinner should not be treated as pious exaggerations" (I want that on my gravestone).

The funny thing is the way I see -from albeit a very cursory glance at his life- him switch from one passion to the next. It's like Thomism in reverse. While that school teaches a man must subvert his passions to his reason, Ignatius seems to fall like Kierkegaard into the camp of Faith being the stongest passion. He was a very passionate man (and yet it was a passion for Christ). I think it's funny how he read about the saints and wanted to outdo them. I don't think that's pride necessarily as Holy Writ orders us to "provoke one another to love and good deeds" (Heb. 10:24).

I see in him a successful version of what I want to be. I told a friend the other day that I want to be a priest/Jesuit because I want to love the poor and completely follow Christ, not because I am doing that already. It's more a means to an end. Apparently that's not the 'right' answer to becoming a priest nowadays. Fr. McNabb's response that he took Holy Orders to 'save his soul' is now uncommon, but it really is how I feel.

May the example of Christ, Our Lady, and the saints provoke me to love.

Blessed Divine Mercy Sunday to all!

Some Marian Prayers

I know it annoys the Protestant readers, I'm sorry, but Marian devotion is a large part of Catholic spirituality, so I'm going to post stuff on it. I've sort of been trying to understand the catholic doctrine of Mary as mediatrix lately, and Newman has been helpful as usual. Currently I'm in grave sin and so these might reflect that reality (Our Lady obtain for me a good death). Marian devotion (mainly the rosary) in the last year for me has been the main change in my spiritual life.

"You will comfort me in my discouragements,
solace me in my fatigues,
raise me after my falls...
You will show me your Son,
my God and my all.
When my spirit within me is excited,
or relaxed,
or depressed,
when it loses its balance,
when it is restless and wayward,
when it is sick of what it has,
and hankers after what it has not,
when my eye is solicited with evil
and my mortal frame trembles
under the shadow of the tempter,
what will bring me to myself,
to peace and health,
but the cool breath
of the Immaculate..." -Venerable John Henry Cardinal Newman

"I pray also that, at the end of my life,
you, Mother without compare,
Gate of Heaven and Advocate of sinners,
will protect me with your great piety and mercy.

and obtain for me,
through the blessed and glorious Passion of your Son
and through your own intercession,
received in hope,
the forgiveness of all my sins. "- St. Thomas Aquinas

Rosary and Rushing Aroung

I've been rushing around with work and school and a thousand (read 3) essays piling up. I haven't found much time for anything recently except the completion of vain and meaningless essays for school and sin. So it hasn't been a good start to holy week.

After a year of being Catholic (this saturday) I still find the most annoying thing in the Church is that there's never Confession anywhere. The Sacrament of Reconcilliation is like the Waldo in the Where's Waldo of Catholicism.

Anyway, aside from my griping about that, I only have one other gripe. The vocations director won't call or email me back about meeting to discuss priest stuff, and my dad is getting antsy with questions.

In all of this, the only peace I have (until I can locate another elusive confessional & priest) is Prayer / the Rosary.

As the saints say Marian devotion is "the safest, surest and swiftest path to a true and lasting commitment to Christ". I also read an amazing part of JPII's encyclical on Mary that I'll have to quote when I have more time.

Our Lady of Mercy, watch over me this week.

Salve Regina

"I went to see him (Chesterton) as he died. I asked to be alone with the dying man. There that great frame was in the heat of death, the great mind was getting ready, no doubt, in its own way, for the sight of God. It was Saturday, and I think that perhaps in another thousand years Gilbert Chesterton might be known as one of the sweetest singers to that ever-blessed daughter of Sion, Mary of Nazareth. I knew that the very finest qualities of The Crusaders was one of the endowments of his great heart, and then I remembered the song of the Crusaders, Salve Regina, which we Blackfriars sing every night to the Lady of our love. I said to Gilbert Chesterton: "You shall hear your mother's love song." And I sang to Gilbert Chesterton the Crusader's song: "Hail, Holy Queen!" - Fr. Vincent McNabb

I remember reading part of Cardinal Nguyen Van Thuan's autobiography where he taught his prison guards how do sing the Salve Regina and they would sing it together - even though they didn't know what it was. It's a beautiful prayer - I think.

I was thinking about St. Louis de Montfort and how he argued that the person most devoted to Mary is most devoted to Christ, and how he said that Mary is not great because of anything she is in and of herself. She is great because she was the home, mother, and earthly teacher of Christ. Everything she does points to him, and so the quickest way to understand true Christian devotion, true emptiness of self and love for Jesus, is to look to Mary (through Mary?).

Cardinal Newman has a great line where he says that for Catholics, our beliefs don't contradict our belief in scripture, etc because we see no contradiction, only harmony. He writes 'they say we ought to be disturbed, but we aren't'. That's what I try to tell people when they question Catholic Mariology: when they ask 'why?' answer 'why not?'. It's the 'default' Christian position from Patristic times to the Reformation, and they saw no problem with it. Mother Teresa once was asked why she was Catholic and she replied that it was because she hadn't found a better religion yet. That's my general standpoint.

I want to learn how to sing the Salve Regina in Latin. I love it when we occasionally get to sing it in English for a recessional hymn.

Ash Wednesday Mishaps

So yesterday was one of the only 2 days our Latin rite Church makes us fast for. Perfectly good I thought, so I'll just eat 1 meal and not consume meat. I work in a deli, and occassionally we will slice an extra piece of meat and consume it. Extra care today! I thought. So I went all day fasting and I was amazed at how much weaker I was at work. I am also not buying any food during Lent so I couldn't get anything to eat (plus it was a fast day). Then after explaining to my fellow Catholics at work, all of whom didn't go to Ash Wednesday services or fast, that we aren't supposed to eat meat today and are to get our ashes, I ate a piece of roast beef sitting on the cutting board. AGDHSGSHOGDOHOPIHWGOH!!@!@@#!LPJKLHI all that fasting for nothing.

The only good thing about being in habitual impurity is that if the aforementioned act was a mortal sin, I already have about 6 on my soul at the moment, so I'll just add it to the list for my soul-wash on saturday (hurray for the Sacrament of Penance).

Anyway, that was my story. St. Thomas famously said that sometimes God allows us to fall into minor sins to keep us from the greatest sin of Pride. Yesterday I could certainly see that Providence, as I did think to myself 'wow, this is really hard, and I'm the only Catholic who did it within my immediate area' and as the scripture sayeth: "pride goeth before the fall" (Prov. 16:18).

So what did I learn yesterday from Ash Wednesday? I'm a sinner, I'm a glutton, I'm proud of my (imperfect yet superior) practice of Catholicism, and that I have alot of worse things about me which I shouldn't divulge on the internet. So I guess it was a success, because I really want to do penance now.

Each day of Lent I'll be picking a Saint for intercession. Today I'm trying to do a do-over and not eat any meat. I figure I'm going to need to pull out the big guns. So that's right, I'm using my number one life-line in intercession (after Christ obviously, as if I needed to mention that), Mama Mary, Mediatrix of all graces extraordinaire.

Seriously though, yesterday after all my faillures I read some of the gospel and prayed my rosary, and once again, I honestly can't explain how, but Mary was so 'present'/'active'/related to , it actually kind of freaked me out, because my Mariology is so lacking. I'm going to have to appreciate Our Lady more this Lent as I pray for my vocation.

"When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing beside her, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, here is your son.’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’ And from that hour the disciple took her into his own home." - John 18:26,27



Holy Mary, mater dei, pray for this miserable son of yours, that he might receive the grace of a pierced heart like yours, with a love for Jesus that overwhelms all the sin and complaint, and gives clarity to the Lord's calling. Amen.

I know I risk jeopardizing my dwindling Protestant readership by mentioning the Blessed Virgin, but I can't help it, it's the only experiential part of my faith right now at this stage of whatever journey I'm on.

Sorry Our Lady of Lourdes

Ok ok ok, I know I sounded like a Protestant in the last post. I had all the same criticisms of the Rosary before, and now I'm on board with that. So I'll just try to keep my frustration to myself and build up the faith. In fairness I haven't read much about the Marian apparations, I just feel like they sometimes make Angelology useless. Happy feast of Our Lady of Lourdes all.

Catholic Ghostbuster

It's the feast of Our Lady of Lourdes today, which is pretty much the most respected Marian Ghost thing we've ever had. The only apparation I've ever read about was Fatima, and I don't really believe it. For the same reason I didn't believe people had the gift of tongues when I worked in a Pentecostal church, and the same reason I don't believe being 'slain in the spirit' is meaningful. To me, I guess, the issue is does something edify the church. Do people love God more because someone sees Mary and she tells them something about Russia or whathaveyou. I'm not denying it could happen, I'm just saying that 'personal revelation' (as the Church rightly calls it) has no relevance to me. It's folk Catholicism, which I've never been a fan of. There's too much in common with the Oracles at Delphi and whatnot, I prefer to stick to scripture and apostolic tradition. I have the same problem with relics. I don't deny it's efficacy, but compared to the Blessed Sacrament - God himself - what could the toe of anyone do?

Anyway, in short, I think it's best just to focus on the actual doctrines of the Church, ask for Our Lady's intercession, reverence things that ought to be reverenced (the Eucharist above all), and stick to the creeds. All the extras: medals, burying statues upside-down, etc, count me out.

...I bet now I'll have a Marian Ghost appear to tell me I'm an irreverant bastard.

Why Are All The Good Catholics Condemned... (don't answer that Protestantism)

I find that every time I read a theologian or philosopher who brilliantly defends the Roman Church against Protestantism and has a real flair, I later find out that our Mother Church has rewarded them with condemnation.

Cornelius Jansen and Blaise Pascal for sure, and to a lesser extent, Peter Kreeft, Hans Urs Von Balthasar. I think it's almost like they're just Augustinians (minus Balthasar) and the Church keeps mistaking Augustine for Luther or something (except read mistaking as not mistaking as the Church can't doctrinally err).



Anyway, add to the list Francois Fenelon. A great orator who helped convert Huguenots and Jansenists back to the Roman cause, and his great reward was: multiple condemnations from Rome and diocesal house arrest... even though the minute his writings were condemned by the Magesterium he submitted completely. (Just like when Jansen said that if any of his writing contradicted the Church he would recant it).

It wouldn't really be such a problem for me, if the Church actually produced good orthodox writers, but it seems -contra Chesterton- that the only orthodoxy available is boredom. Get too excited about any idea, and the Church will condemn it. It's kind of a monument to Lukewarmness.

Anyway, the Church is still Christ's even if she didn't produce alot of good orthodox theologians between 1600 and 1900. And as all these men teach us, we must submit, even if our most precious personal opinions are removed from us.

Strangely enough Marian devotion (which I am in no way against) is the only available option to 'go nuts' with. I've never heard of someone in our Church being condemned for being too Marian. But quote St. Augustine on Predestination or Grace and you'll get shafted.

Requiem in Pace Fenelon.

Oxford Movement, Personal Note, and Mariology

Today I wrote a fascinating paper on the Oxford Movement and the birth of Anglo-Catholicism as well as the conversion of the Ven. John Henry Cardinal Newman. It was a great story to hear and to see how it was tied to the lives of other eminent Victorians I'd studied like William Gladstone and Lord Palmerston, etc, was really cool.

I have alot more respect for Newman now, after seeing the way his life played out, but also no naivety about the clear flaws in his character. Like one story about him said that a man who entered the Oratory apparently offended him with one comment (he didn't even know how) and Newman didn't say a single word to the man for over a decade (i want to say it was something like 18 years). He had a capacity to hate for sure.

But I also found it interesting how his biographers wrote that Newman had the courage to follow through with the logic he had started. As we study Victorian society it's hard to stress how much propriety and social standing meant and for someone to throw it all away - which even today is quite a gesture - was a great witness back then.

I feel like Keble and some of the others were a bit cowardly in that sense.

Then I read about the Ritualists and the work of the Anglo-Catholic priests among the poor in the London Docks. Allegedly that is where priests in England began being referred to as 'father', which I don't know if I believe, but if it's true, how ironic, that the Anglicans started it.

It also reminded me of the historical disagreement I have with some people who say the Anglican church was purely a Reformed/Calvinistic church with Bishops. When I think of Nicholas Ridley, of Lancelot Andrewes, and even to some extent Cranmer I don't see how this could be true. But perhaps I need to study more. Certainly the majority did fall under Calvinist influence in some areas, and yes it did only get gradually more "Catholic" over time, but there was -I think- a distinct belief in the continuity of the Catholic faith, etc. (in a way not shared by other Reformation churches)

On a personal note, I've made it 1 day without falling into mortal sin by the superabundant grace of God. I prayed the rosary twice today and felt so much peace from it. I'm starting to understand the beginning of the phrase "De Maria Numquam Satis" - a phrase my level of Latin can actually deal with: "of Mary enough can never be said" or "Of Mary there is never enough". It helped to read more Mariology about how she is never admired in and of herself, but almost as an empty shell which Christ occupies. In many ways it's not so much the actual person of Mary as much as the typology she represents, of cooperating with God, of having Christ within us, etc. But that sounds dangerously modernist as if I were Bultmann describing the resurrection or something.

Read Ratzinger/Papa Benny on Mary and was sold, he responds so kindly to Hans Kung even though you can tell he considers Kung to be a complete heretic.

I'm not even trying to be Marian at all, it's just happening. In some ways like I've mentioned before I'm stilling being nagged by Protestant soteriology a bit, but I feel like the Rosary is becoming a strong part of my devotional life. As well I read somewhere an Augustinian phrase the other day which was "solus christianus nullus christianus", 'A solitary Christian is not a Christian'. In this book on the Catholic doctrine of grace it talks about how at the end of the day, the doctrine of grace cannot in the Augustinian system be separate from the doctrine of the Church, they are both intrinsically tied. This has all been helpful, as has Pelikan's description of the near universal acceptance of the Anselmic model of atonement which is acceptable for Catholics, i.e. that Christ has made satisfaction for our sins and offered God something better than we ever could have, which ties nicely into the doctrine of the Sacrifice of the Mass as Christ holding himself and his sacrifice before us and allowing us to partake in it and be cleansed of sin and acceptable and blameless before God.

So it's all good, and I'm wanting to go on a pilgrimage now to see the Oratory in Birmingham, and possibly, Our Lady of Walsingham.