Today as I should have remembered is the feast of St. Edmund Campion who was martyred this day in 1581 (I was only reminded by http://trailofflowers.blogspot.com/2010/12/feast-of-saint-edmund-campion.html). I feel less like a real Catholic many many times because I'm so bad with Calendars and geography. For the English Roman Catholics, these things were extremely important. Alas, unlike the brilliant convert Campion, much of Protestantism still lingers within me.
As my patron, I've told the story of St. Edmund Campion many times before, but today, his feast is a day to recollect for me on my conversion, my failures as a Roman Catholic, and what I have to do next in my journey.
I found it very reassuring however that when I was researching for an essay on English Catholicism today, I found this sentence on English Recusants:
"...a Catholic attending a Protestant service might carry a rosary in her pocket and recite Latin prayer throughout the service, thus ritually separating herself from the Protestants with whom she shared the church..."
Now I got really excited when I read this, because I've DONE THAT BEFORE! My parents made me go to an Anabaptist service at Southridge church in our town where a woman baptized as an infant was re-baptized, and I sat with my rosary in my pocket praying it the whole time (I can't remember if I prayed the Rosary in Latin back then as I do now). Anyway, it makes me hopeful about my Roman Catholic identity which I am sometimes paranoid about (due to ongoing baptismal scruples).
Another example of how Recusants distanced themselves was by making an especial Catholic place. In my room I have my Rosaries, statue of St. Francis, and picture of Pope John Paul II.
In any case, I want to spend our first day of winter (it snowed today for the first time of the year) and the feast of St. Edmund Campion in prayer. Off for a walk and a Rosary.